More to cope with

A little over a month ago, our family lost a cousin. At that time I learned that my dearest cousin, Dennis, had a recurrance of the cancer that took his voice over ten years ago.

It came back to his throat, lungs and stomach and his doctors gave him a very aggressive chemo and radiation treatment. Last weekend, he was sent to the hospital with almost no white blood cells and a blood sugar count over 900. Either one is a killer. His daughter called this morning to tell me he is now on life support and will receive last rites of the Catholic Church at noon today, with his whole family present. The doctors say if there is not brain activity in the next 24 hours they will recommend pulling the plug.

I want to go back very badly, but when I checked the airline fares, for flights with less than 10 days advance booking, for a normal $175 round trip flight the cost is now $467. Coupled with two or three days in a hotel and car rental this trip will be well out of my reach financially.

It is breaking my heart, but I may just have to tell Debbie that I can't afford to make the trip. I hope she understands.

In the meantime, I pray for peace for his whole family. He suffered with this disease and now he is in God's care.

Please pray for him.

Why does a four day weekend.....

feel like a month? I cleaned the house, did the laundry, cleaned out a junk pile, went grocery shopping, took several naps and it's only Sunday afternoon.

I am better. Not much, but every day lets me feel a little more like my own self.

I went to the new church this morning forgetting it was World Communion Sunday. This was the first time I took communion in this church and it was lovely. A little different than the old church, but at least I was able to reconnect with my spirituality.

I've had to disconnect my Yahoo Messenger. He kept leaving me little messages, kind of like throwing the dog a bone. I finally shut the doggone thing down. I need peace in my heart, not turmoil.

Never thought I'd ever say this, but I'll be glad to get back to the office.

Till later,

This is awful.....

But I am a little better each day. Still alive, still breathing and still kicking myself in the butt for being such a fool.

Just wanted to say thanks for your prayers and let you know I'm still around.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I think it was Neal Sedaka who sang that song. And it's true.

When will I ever learn my lesson? I'm too old for this kind of trauma. I believed him and for a month I was like a girl again. But then, he dropped me. Fast and hard.

I'll be back when I can talk logically but right now, I have jello for a brain and want to isolate.

I don't think I'll ever accept a date again. I just can't.......