Saturday, September 15, 2007

And life moves on

Yesterday I got a phone call from a second cousin of mine. She called to tell me of the death of another cousin. This cousin, Carol, was like a sister to me around the time my parents divorced. I couldn't have been more than 3 years old. Back in the late 30s and early 40s men didn't get custody of children in divorce settlements unless the Mother was unfit. Daddy got custody of Diane and me. Before the divorce, when Daddy found us in awful conditions, no fire in the furnace in sub-zero weather and no food or milk and no Mother around, my Dad kidnapped us and hid us amongst his Sister's children. There were 11 of them and 9 were already married and away from home. Diane and I were split up and she went to another cousin's home and I was with my Auntie Anna. Carol was her daughter who soothed my fears and cuddled and loved me back to sanity. That's around the time I quit talking and I didn't start again till I was nearly 5. Of course Daddy remarried Marge who raised me with an iron fist till she died at 50.

I really felt bad about Carol but did have one thing that brought me gratitude for going to Milwaukee last September for my high school reunion. I got to see her after, Lord knows how many years, at another cousin's house and took a picture of her.


In looking at her face, I realize there is a very strong family resemblance and I am one of the tribe. That makes me feel good because sometimes, living away from home for over 40 years, it's good to remember where I come from and who I am.

In the same phone call I got other sad news about my cousin Dennis. Dennis and I are 6 months apart and we went to high school together. We were pretty close as kids and enjoyed each other after he got married. We were good friends. He was the one who jokingly defended me when one old aunt asked "Joannie, why aren't you married yet?" Dennis piped up "Leave her alone. She's the only one who's got any sense!"

Anyway (I've never been known to ramble on LOL) Dennis' daughter called to say they have found more tumors in his neck, he has nodules in his lungs and 'tissue' in his stomach. Sounds like he's loaded with it. He and his wife are going for a consultation with the oncologist on Monday to determine the course of treatment. I pray that it goes well.

Knowing how sick he is brings me closer to my own mortality. And of course I worry as far as cancer is concerned, am I next?

Now on a fun note, I went out with the young Brazilian again yesterday. He's very nice, very cute and very young (40) but for some reason he thinks I'm gorgeous (may need glasses) and wants to see me again. I've really got to be careful with this one.

Take care dear reader.

God bless you all.

2 comments:

Donna. W said...

And the plot thickens! More! I want to know more! Where did you meet the young Brazilian?

Yes, I saw the family resemblance.

I think the fact that autumn's approaching makes us think of our mortality more.

Toni said...

It sounds like Carol was VERY important to you during a VERY difficult time in your life. I'm so sorry for your loss. My father-in-law was abandoned by his mother, sent to live in an orphanage with his siblings until their father remarried, and then moved back home. He later learned his mother started another family and named one of her children HIS name (first and middle). He continues to have rejection issues to this day. :(

I served as a foster parent for 5 years, so I know the issues that ripped families apart 60 or 70 years ago still exist today (and then some). It will never be a "fixed" problem, sadly. And that's why losing someone like Carol is so much more significant.

But it's never, ever too late to know God's great love for us, nor that He desires that none should be lost from Him. You are His treasure, yesterday, today and always.
Blessings,
~Toni~